The Truth About How I [We] Are Doing [Surviving] - Crossing the Finish Line in a Pandemic World

DISCLAIMER: My intention for this post is to speak to the non-elite runner. While I hope there are some pieces of this that could positively apply for elite athletes, I am taking into account the common mindset of a non-elite runner for the purpose of this post. There are many elements of elite running that I do not understand, and implications about those runners and their professional careers that I am not familiar with. It would be unfair for me to attempt to be a subject matter expert in that regard.

The Wall

In racing, I believe there is a single point in which, during a race, the human body engages with a fight or flight event. Without a doubt, there may be multiple points in a race when we face tough challenges. However, I believe there is a moment where one particular challenge is the toughest and pushes us to our brink. It doesn’t matter if it’s a 5K or a marathon, that event will show its face to us and will challenge us to make a decision. How difficult the challenge is can absolutely vary. Sometimes, we are in an unbeatable groove and can take on anything. Other times, that barrier feels like an apex of physiological and mental pain, challenging us within a moment that will make or break a race.

This moment can feel like many things to all of us. If you’re familiar with marathon terminology, this is often referred to as the wall. The wall can either be a physical or a mental hurdle. In the marathon, a physical wall is commonly caused by the depletion of glycogen stores within the human body, a sign that the energy resources being used to carry forward have begun to deplete. Just as fascinating is the mental characteristics of the wall, where when the body starts to fail us, it sends signals to our brain that have profound effects and what we do next. Whether we like it or not, our bodies are built to protect us. That means, if our body thinks that we are running way too fast for way too long, increasing chemical serotonin levels in your body and give you less neural control over your muscle fibers. To sum it up, not only are your muscles hurting from the fatigue, but also your brain is actively taking measures to prevent ourselves from putting our body through further fatigue. That kind of sucks.

To briefly clarify, any race distance where we are pushing ourselves to our performance peak, or maximum aerobic capacity, we will surely experience a wall. It doesn’t matter if it’s a 5K or a marathon, the point at which we feel massive struggle where we need to challenge ourselves to carry-on will surely show its face. As I mentioned earlier, in some instances it will easily be conquerable. In others, it feels absolutely insurmountable.

Given the title of this post, you can guess that my plan is probably not to talk about race strategies and tactics to deal with the physical and mental wall. A discussion around that topic is in my plans for a later date.

Today - I want to talk about suffering and honesty.

Sunday, October 10th, 2021

35,000 pairs of feet. 26.2 miles of road. Over 1,000 signs and hundreds of thousands of fans. Those numbers mean only one thing, the Chicago Marathon had arrived. One of the best races in the world, and many had trained and looked forward to this day. It was surely going to be special.

However there are some other numbers that we can’t forget.

728 days Since the last Chicago marathon. 74° on average during the race. 80-90% humidity.

It was the hottest Chicago Marathon since 2007. Race organizers implemented increased medical measures in place to accommodate for the increase temperature, anticipating that runners would struggle through it. Recommendations from organizers said that not only should we consider increasing the intake of hydration and electrolytes, it was also best to temper expectations as well. Ouch.

Some people had great days at Chicago, Posting personal records despite adverse conditions. In addition many runners took on the marathon for the first time, and absolutely incredible and once in a lifetime feet. For others, it felt like a day of disaster, struggling to cope with the increased temperatures after years of waiting for this race and months of training.

There are only so many things we can control on race day, and sadly, weather conditions are not one of them. Despite that, many of us took on the mental baggage of that reality and felt discouragement internally. Of course, let’s not ignore the fact that there is disappointment and a negative result despite the circumstances. We have every right to be disappointed when the conditions are not ideal, therefore we are not able to achieve our goal. There was literally nothing we could do ourselves in making that day more ideal for marathon running. But there is a concrete difference between accepting a negative result versus taking on the mental burden that threatens our self perception of ourselves. Because we didn’t reach our goal, or even did not finish the race, despite the existence of extremely strong barriers, some of us still managed to use those as a definition of our identity.

Why does this happen? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we allow uncontrollable natural events dictate who we are, our worth, and our identity?

No More Hiding

How are you doing during this pandemic world? How are you getting by? If I may share from a personal perspective, and if I was asked that question my gut reaction to how I was truly doing in a pandemic was one of I’d say… I’m getting by just fine. Nothing is wrong and nothing feels out of place, I feel completely normal. But, if I am being honest, is that actually true? And if you feel the same way, is that also true?

As we look at the past two years of this pandemic, the effect that it has had on our mental and physical health is fascinating. In the early stages of the pandemic, initial concerns were that we were not getting enough vitamin D. We were told to stay in our homes and not go outside, at the risk of transmitting the disease. As a result, we were not in the sunlight as much as we were used to, therefore causing depletion of the vitamin that we had normally relied on to survive every day. In addition, accounting for those who had office jobs and we’re now working remote, we were no longer leaving our homes to go to the office. That meant less walking and moving around, where our new office was only steps away. Unless you’ve got a standing desk or something fancy like that, this more than likely caused lower back issues (this is what I personally went through.)

Also, getting fresh air is important. I feel like I’ve heard that before from some experts. Unsure however. When the pandemic started, we got less of that as well.

No, let’s talk about screen time. Now that we were no longer going outside of our homes and into an office, most of us were in front of our computers all day. We were starting to spend all of our time in front of a screen, putting strain on our eyes which have an effect on our brain health. That’s no fun either.

I’m willing to bet there are other scientific implications that the pandemic has bestowed upon us that I am missing. Lucky for you, I am not a scientist, so I am not qualified to comment on any other facts. But I feel like those exist.

Now that we’ve had some of the scientific implications out-of-the-way, let’s talk about the mental implications that we experienced. Buckle up.

In March 2020 and in the blink of an eye, we were all asked to quarantine. We had to say goodbye to our social lives, goodbye to our families, and goodbye to a lot of things that we were used to doing. Life is difficult as it is, so adding on the fact that we couldn’t be around those we loved made it even harder. We had to completely uproot what we were used to, and learn brand new routines just so that we can survive. We had to make adjustments to our lifestyle, many of which were awkward or uncomfortable, yet necessary.

On top of that, there was added uncertainty around a disease that was killing people. Now we had to worry about ourselves catching it, along with our friends and family. We started worrying about those who had compromised immune systems, or our grandparents and elderly friends/family. We already felt trapped, with the ability to visit people taken away. However now, we were helpless.

As you may or may not be aware, all of this slowly wears on us. It does so where in the moment of going through these struggles, we instinctively put our well-being to the side in favor of focusing our energy on the urgent issues. Whether it’s on our families health, new daily obstacles, or survival, our focus is certainly not on whether or not we are happy in that moment. Not only that, I’m willing to wager that many of us started to do this to ourselves for an extended period of time, maybe even since the pandemic has started. When was the last time that you asked yourself that you were doing something that made you happy? When was the last time that you emotionally checked in on your mental well-being?

In a society that thrives on the dream for all of us to one day “make it“, we sure do an awfully great job at being addicted to stress. Many of us have already been conditioned to operate on the defensive, thinking that there is a constant threat out there putting our dreams at risk and causing us to be afraid. The beauty of trying to prove ourselves, where unfortunately in some cases is taken in the wrong direction where we become our biggest self critics, could in reality show some of the most unique traits about us and highlight the best parts of our personal identity. When we feel threatened, how can we find time to be good to ourselves when the looming threat of “not making it” poses an uncertain consequence and punishment that we don’t know and for sure never want to experience, therefore causing us to expel all of our human energy on making sure that we never reach that point?

COVID has found away to accelerate this among all of us. Instead of being people who define ourselves by our greatest strengths, we instead are quick to define ourselves by our recent weaknesses and shortcomings. When social media is just filled with peer pressure and fake benchmarks, how can we truly pat ourselves on the back for the good things, especially when we have to deal with the success stories of unknown influencers, whom we’ve never met, who claim they poured in blood, sweat, and tears into getting what they dreamed of? If you’re someone who has literally struggled through life in making countless sacrifices to reach your goals, yet you still have not gotten to where you want to be, how is this supposed to make you feel? You’re already dealing with a pandemic that’s completely upended your way of life, made threats to the health of your friends/family, and imposed negative physical implications, and now, at the same time, the standard is to grind until there is almost nothing left because we are made to believe that on the other end lies our personal utopia.

The final straw here is the fact that we feel like, on top of experiencing all of these obstacles, we also must keep this to ourselves and hide it from others so they can’t see. The pressure from society forcing us to not show weakness or vulnerability has caused us to bottle up all of the struggles that we face to the point where our bottles cannot hold anymore. We don’t feel comfortable sharing that with others. Keeping that hidden is, by design, a great measure to prevent people from seeing our weakness. But when it comes to getting help from others, it is a terrible measure. If you don’t share your struggles with anyone else, how can anyone else help you?

If you feel like you relate to this, let me take this moment to tell you that you are officially being heard. Yes you. Your struggles, your daily grind, your sacrifices are all heard. In addition, for everyone who has lost someone and has dealt with immense sacrifice, I’m taking this moment to tell you that I am sorry for what you have gone through. I don’t know the details, but that’s not required for us to get support and empathy from others.

What you have suffered through is unique to you and you alone. And that is the perfect segue into the final part of my post.

Call It What It Is

One of the best things that we can do to our self is to give light and identity to our suffering. This may sound counterintuitive, especially with what I’ve talked about up until this point, but please hear me out.

"The only thing that we are entitled to is suffering."

- Mark Manson

This is a great phrase to think of when it comes to running and training, but I feel like it is equally as applicable as we look at our holistic well-being. This isn’t a call to give life to suffering, where we fuel the negative feelings that come from it. Rather, by calling out what it is and being honest with ourselves, we can take tangible steps to heal. Being honest about suffering helps us seize the moment to destroy the obstacles in our way.

I mentioned this earlier, but if we take into account all the changes that Covid has brought us, combined with the fact that many of us have not been paying attention to our mental health, the negative effects have stress have slowly grown within us without us realizing it. We have slowly become addicted to the hormones that come with stress and have made it a part of our every day life. We have gotten used to it. We have gotten accustomed to it. We have become addicted to it. It has all of a sudden started to feel natural to call ourselves failures or not good enough.

Instead, we can first identify the truth behind our suffering, and then begin to reframe. We can look at our suffering as a badge of honor instead of a crutch that holds us back. While suffering is unique in all of us, then by that same definition, our own personal suffering will not truly be understood by anyone else as much as ourselves. Your suffering is unique to you. What you do behind the scenes, in the dark, and in the shadows, is unique to you.

A single mother raising three kids while working a full-time job.

A small business owner, pushing to make a difference in their micro community.

A father, working tirelessly to make sure his family is safe, healthy, and protected.

A teacher, grinding to help set up the next generation of children for success.

An activist, putting their safety on the line to bring awareness to a cause that can change the world.

An engineer, working around the clock to create solutions that could change lives.

A runner, waking up at 5 AM to train to help reach their race day goals.

You’ll notice that in each of those statements, a form of suffering was mentioned. In addition to that, each of those deposits of suffering was mentioned with the hope of achieving a goal. Nobody can, or has the right, take that away from you. The best news when it comes to suffering is that it can be used to help us take steps towards unmeasurable greatness. Suffering thrives in the darkness as long as it puts up the smokescreen, but exposing it forces suffering to be honest with no where to hide. Taking this step can help not only with your every day life, but can also help when you toe the line to call upon a command performance in a race. You can prepare yourself for your own battle knowing that obstacles will be coming your way, mentally and physically. And when the mental struggle begins to eat at you, the power of reframing can flip the script in your favor.

If you raced in 2021, have you considered these elements in your race prep? Did you take a moment to reframe how our lives have changed into a positive affirmation that you can take to the start line? The pandemic has caused some of us to fall short of where we want to be in terms of goals, myself being one of them. I know that I am not in the shape I want to be, and while that reality can lead to many negative thoughts, I have personally tried to except my new reality and make the best of who I am today. I have personally been working on not using factors outside of my control to be used as fuel for failure language. We may not be able to control where we are now, but we can certainly control setting herself up for success and grow to become who we want to be.

Conclusion

Nobody was expecting that race day for the Chicago Marathon would be as hot as it was. Conveniently, the dates leading up to the race were chilly, ideal for running but effectively de-acclimating most of us to the heat. This was doubly troublesome considering we had trained hard during one of the hottest summers on record. Basically, the recipe for a perfect storm.

When the going gets tough, like when the heat is pushing 80° and our body begins to fail us, the signals that get sent to our brain are extremely powerful. For many of us, the race ended in disappointment on that day, where we questioned why we put in so much effort and training, only for the big day to not go as we planned. It felt unfair, and that we were robbed of some thing that we were owed.

But if we look past the negative evaluations towards ourselves during that race, and instead look around us to get the big picture, we can help remind ourselves, deep down, the thing that is most important to us. It’s already challenging to do this in the middle of a marathon, as we are often looking to tackle each step mile by mile. But at the end of the day, there was a larger goal that we put before us, that fueled the reason for us signing up in the first place.

With some perspective, that only we can define for ourselves, we can help reframe what suffering means to us. Suffering will effectively cease operating as something that holds us back, but rather, give definition to the necessary steps that we take to lead ourselves to greatness. We can shine the light on suffering to call it out what it is and no longer let it assume its power in the shadows.

“What we do in the dark is what helps put us in the light.”

- Anonymous

* Photo by André Jamar (IG: @andrejamarphoto)